Welcome to the Cabaret

How's it going there everybody?

You're very welcome to this evening's cabaret

I want to thank you for the trouble you're after taking

To come and hear me play

I know the effort that you make and all the trouble that you have to take

When you decide you're gonna go and see a show

Your wife says Oh not Christy Moore, we've seen him loads of times before

And we're going to miss Gay Byrne on the Late Late Show



Well there's people here upon my word from every corner of the world

Portarlington Portlaoise and Tullamore

From Two Mile House and Poulaphouca

From Blacktrench Cutbush and Boolea

Such a crowd I've never seen before



Well you are welcome welcome everyone

Special branch you're on the run

Fine Gael, Fianna Fail or Sinn Fein

When the elections are all over

We'll all be pushing up clover

And everyone in the graveyard votes the same



My belly thought my throat was cut

And all the restaurants were shut as I was driving out through Kinnegad

So I drove on to Mother Hubbard's where I saw a swarm of truckers

And I said to myself this place doesn't look too bad

In came a 40ft lorry leaking lines of slurry

And the king of the road jumped down and he said to me

Hey John, don't I know your face

Are you Paddy Reilly or Brendan Grace?

Are you Mary Black or Freddy White says he



Wait til I tell you what happened to me today

I was coming up the dual carriageway

Half a mile the far side on Naas

The Irish Army, they were all over the place

So I pulled in and rolled my window down

The saighdiuiri they surrounded my car I thought it was the third world war

Some of the boys were throwin Shi'ite shapes

I said brigadier general what appears to be the trouble

He said "Don't forget your shovel"

Have you any auld autographs or tapes?

I do.. what about the leb?