I've Lost Track of Everything

I cant fucking help it, my bones are shaking under my skin, my mind so heavy and out so empty, i've lost track of everything. 
is this what i always wanted, I'd wake up scared and shiver back to sleep 
on the long walks home I would ask myself, why are we so alone, 
chasing each others shadows in the dark. get me the fuck out of here alive. 
and all the answers i can not take, and the questions make less sense every fucking day 
i've waited long enough for the end. I've seen snakes with pretty faces and bloodshot eyes. 
Nothing will drag me deeper than hearing your voice from across a dim lit room 
nothing will bring me back to life, the reapers grip so tight 

i'm scared i let those years go to waist, so long ago the last time i saw your face 
as the train pulled away , i saw you smile and wave. 
i dipped my head and focused on the features of your face 
as the hours passed, i wish i never made it home without you 
DESTROY ME, DESTROY ME 
i've lost track of everything, this life has lost all meaning 
its too late. there's no time for goodbyes, my youth has given up on me, im dying inside, is this all i know, this deathbed is my home 
take my life away