When I was only three

When I was only three, 
My mama said to me, 
"Don't go screwin' a [bad word] hor, 
Or you're gonna get VD"

When I was seventeen, 
I boned a cooky [bad word] couple days later, my balls swelled up, 
And my croth began to itch

But that's when I totally knew, 
What God wanted me to do, 

Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night, and party all day! 
Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey
I'm gonna [bad word] all night and party all day

Check it out
Now I'm in a [bad word]  band, 
And I'm banging every night
I don't care if she's a trailer hoe, 
And she's got three freakin eyes

I get up in the afternoon, 
Cuz I ain't got a stupid job
I drink some beer and I watch cartoons, 
While the [bad word] polishes my [bad word] 
Smoke and drink and [bad word]  
That's what I was born to do, 

Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night, and party all day! 
Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey
I'm gonna [bad word] all night and party all day

Now God's looking down on me, 
Saying, Hey man, way to be

Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night, and party all day! 
Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night and party all day

Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night, and party all day! 
Whoa, oh oh, hey, hey, hey [bad word] all night and party
 [bad word] [bad word] [bad word] yeah,  [bad word] yeah! 

... [bad word] yeah, dude