Your majesty we have arrived

- What a shambles! We're just not getting anywhere! I don't believe in it anyway. 
- In what?
- England.
- Just a conspiracy of cartographers, you mean? 
- I mean I don't believe it! And even if it's [bad word]  the King of England won't know what we're taking about. What are we going to say?
- We say your majesty, we have arrived.
- And who are you?
- We are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
- Never heard of you!
- Well, we're nobody special.
- What's your game?
- We have our [bad word] ..
- First I've heard of it.
- Let me finish! [bad word] from Denmark.
- What do you want?
- Nothing! We're delivering Hamlet...
- Who's he?
- You've heard of him.
- Oh, I've heard of him all right, and I want nothing to do with it. You march in here without so much as a by your leave and expect me to take in every lunatic you try to pass off with a lot of unsubstantiated…
- We've got a letter!
- I see... I see...Well, this seems to support your story. Such as it is... it is an [bad word] from the King of Denmark for several different reasons, importing Denmark's health and England's too, that on the reading of this letter, without delay, I should have Hamlet's head cut off!