Citizen Boris

"Boris Hoffman, you are now a citizen of the United States, so help you God.

"What is the Fourth of July?
Independence Day.
What is the legislative branch of our government?
Congress.
What is the Bill of Rights?
First ten amendments of the Constitution.
Can you name the forty-ninth state in the Union?
Alaska…

- Grazhdanin Borya! [Citizen Borya (dim. from Boris)!]
- And I pledge allegiance
To my new land, America,
Good-bye my old passport,
I now renounce you…
- Pasport proshu! [Passport, please!]

"Green card lottery, Immigration,
Packing, dread, and jubilation,
(unintelligible) across the ocean,
Jury duty, [bad word] taxes,
Voting in all local elections,
If the army needs me, I will die.

"How many representatives in Congress?
Four hundred thirty-five.
What is the capital of your state?
It depends on where you live.
Who wrote 'The Star-Spangled Banner'?
Francis Scott Key.
For how long do we elect a president?
Four years…

"Cats and dogs and aunts and uncles,
Leave behind the loves and insults,
Six months of E.S.L.,
Jury duty, [bad word] taxes,
Voting in all local elections,
I can never be the president.

"Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?"
Patrick Henry.
Who elects the Congress?
The people.
What is the duty of the Supreme Court?
To interpret the laws.
Can you name the original thirteen States?
Connecticut,
New York, Virginia, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania,
Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Maryland, Delaware,
North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia,
And—um—uh—oh! New Jersey!…"
 [bad word] [bad word] 2013/07/the-rebel-black-dot-song-of-day-golem.html