Epic Rap Battle - Nerd vs. Geek

Нёрд:
Yes! i am a nerd!
Bookworm, i`m studious
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus.
Back in kindergarten
I aced my college entrance  exam.
Now i`m not rocket scientist
Oh wait, i`m.
When i pour my Alpha-bits
I get nothing, but stright A`s.
My retainer and headgear connect
to a back brace.
i`ve got pocket-protector protector protector,
i broke my glasses on purpose
so i could tape em together.
Run Back to Reddet
and type stuff no one will see.
You are a geek
that means you`re just a
hipster wanna be!

Гик:
That`s right i`m a geek
i`ve got brains and a personality,
i wear my glasses sincerely
and my T-shirts ironically.
There are some things you
can`t learn in a class.
Or else i`d sign you up for
"Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast"
You`re just so early 2013
I was the  cool form from uncool
before uncool became a thing.
I use an app to pair pork
with the perfect bordeaux.
Too bad there`s no app
to neutralize your B.O.
While you`re lost in Second Life
letting your fingernails grow long,
i`ll be syncing up my 
iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom

Нёрд:
Sure, grooming`s not my thing
but i don`t care,
i look so good in chainmail
that it`s not Renaissance Faire!

Гик:
Doesn`t LARP stand for
looser and reject party?
I`d rather cosplay with hotties
than play fake army.
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once
and i died
of boredom.
But i`ll still kick your
Assassin`s Creed post-mortem.
Maryo Party`s the only one
you get invited to.
Your life is like Skyrim
an endless quest of Solitude.

Нёрд:
Ooo you beat Angry Birds
You are not a gamer `cause you
battle your friends with words.
You click on cute icons,
I execute commands.
Do you really need a "genius"
to teach you Garage Band?

Гик:
i landed 
the first Proflcopter.
And took in orphans when i was 12
`cause i`m an early adopter,
I can wear Google glass
without looking like a dweeb.
Ok, may be not
but i can Yelp us
some good pho to eat.

Нёрд:
You need 16 gigs of RAM
to watch a Steve Jobs doc?
I keep an actual rem in my pc.
His name is Spock.

Гик:
I`m a new console
your face is birth control.
i troll Brony sites,
You look like an actual troll.

Нёрд:
I`m fluent in C++
[std: :count << "You just suck! \n";\]
Can your iPhone autocorrect
your dumb haircut?

Гик:
Hold on a second
let me tweet this infographic i made
that illustrates the fact
you`ll never get to
procreate.

Нёрд:
I just haven`t met a women
of a high enough caliber.
The only dates you have 
are on your Google calendar.

Гик:
You`re losing this battle
your foam sword won`t help
in the future you`ll
randomly access this memory
and [bad word] yourself!

Нёрд:
Did i mention
i built dancing robot?
"No one gives a Shatner
about your skinny jeans.
Do you even know what URL means?"

Гик:
You don`t know what you`re Tolkien about
"Much wind pours from your mouth
you cowardly dog
you are ugly
and you mother dresses you!
Go kiss an Ork"

Нёрд: 
You know
Оба двое:
You are a  classic example
of the  inverse ratio
between size of the mouth 
and the size of the brain

(записал Дин Юшкевич)