Infliction

My life's [bad word] so deep, deep as in before birth
Some things just won't ever change, feed myself some more pain
Bad memories of childhood [bad word] innocence
Not teaching me, misleading me, leaving me on my own
Why questioning? No answering, this [bad word] #39;s just so [bad word] up
Ignoring my own personal self characteristics 

Why no one was there to look after me, torn in between myself
Lost everything taken away from me, words they can't hear
Deaf to hear
Born out of somebody's audacity, not given a fair chance
Lies spoken in words that I do not know, pain teaching me
Suffering 

I can't ignore my feelings, my own hostility
Wearing my hate on my face, look into my eyes
How in the world could you take care of me? You could not care for you
I'm left with these horrible memories, time easing me, freeing me
Rise out of my conscious supression and ask what the [bad word] 
What for?
 [bad word] wakes in me from my experience, laugh wondering
What it means 

Do not create so blindly, better your offerings
Lives are at stake, don't deny us the future
Powers beyond in our hands, ask yourself what it means
Never forget to look deep, finding thyself 

Laws I was rebornwith, God-like in character
Choice to create, I will not make that choice
Severing of my blood, extinction of my flesh
By my own hand, I can't deceive myself
Childhood wars, I suffered through them, my institution
Some pain will last, like time unchanged
Cannot forget, lost in illusion, trapped in confusion
Stress overwhelms my peace of mind 

I was born from demons, from souls so far from peace
Ask where they came from, woke with them, spoke with them
They too came from demons, where can we all find peace?
Life should mean so much more, peace [bad word] when we sleep
To live is to suffer tragically
My life [bad word] [bad word]  infliction
I know I am not alone, suffering
We all have our own [bad word]  infliction 

Grasping of all meaning inside myself, what we must all endure
Constant awakening of what my spirit brings
Breathe from my strength, child of ignorance
Living in infliction, multiplied misery
Just part of birth, this is the consequence
What do I ask myself? This [bad word] #39;s just got to change
Some pain will last, living in infliction