Break Your silence

I got some news today, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. My best friend ended her life.
How was I to know her soul was bleeding crying out in pain. She hid her darkness with her smile. 
Everyday I told her that I [bad word] loved her. Everyday she said the same.
Did I ignore the signs she showed me with her eyes, is something i CouLD  have changed?
Now all i do is cry forever wonder why, tell me if i am to blame.
If i could turn back time, put her hand in mine, look her in her eyes and say
 [bad word] 
I'm here, so break the silence. I'm here, you're not alone. I'm here so break your silence. I'm here to carry you home.

So many times we're told "you're blessed be  happy, strong and carry on. There are others who suffer more than you." 
We ignore our pretend we're happy, everything is good and fine. I have a differ point of veiw.
If you ever need me, baby please believe me, I'll be right there by your side. Everybody has pain so dont be ashame. there's no need to fake a smile. I'll help you through the night, until we see the light. Everything will be okay.
If i can turn back time. Put your hand in mine. Look you in your eyes and say.. [bad word]