A Traditional Victorian Gentlemens Boasting Song

chorus:
we are Victorian men
there's nothing more modern than them
we're living the dream through the power of steam
and we turn a girl's head now and then...

(A) I've just qualified for my airship's pilot's licence...and women are impressed by me!
(B) really? I've just been ballooning with Bazalgette...and women are impressed by ME!
(A) i can bunnyhop on a penny farthing!
(B) i can wheelie on a boneshaker!
(A) I've heard that rumor...
(B) you hear a lot of things!

chorus:
we are Victorian men
there's nothing more modern than them
we're living the dream through the power of steam
and we turn a girl's head now and then...

(A) my gentleman's club is so exclusive I'm one of only two members...and women are impressed by me!
(B) really? my club is so exclusive they won't let me join...and women are impressed by ME!
(A) i pierced Prince Albert!
(B) i porked Queen Victoria!
(A) have you no shame?
(B) ...not any more!

chorus:
we are Victorian men
there's nothing more modern than them
we're living the dream through the power of steam
and we turn a girl's head now and then...

(A) i have survived three assassination attempts...and women are impressed by me!
(B) that's a coincidence, I've attempted three assassinations...and women are impressed by ME!
(A) my Gladstone bag is years ahead of it's time!
(B) my Gladstone pants are chaffing!
(A) ouch! are they made of the same shiny leather as the bags?
(B) .......yep!

chorus:
we are Victorian men
there's nothing more modern than them
we're living the dream through the power of steam
and we turn a girl's head now and then...

(A) i can strip a steam engine in twenty minutes flat...and women are impressed by me!
(B) i can strip a women in twenty seconds flat...and steam engineers are impressed by ME!
(A) my piston's fueled by coke!
(B) my [bad word] is long and thin like a pepperami!
(A) i like stoking ladies' boilers!
(B) i like [bad word] women up the [bad word] ......sorry

chorus:
we are Victorian men
there's nothing more modern than them
we're living the dream through the power of steam
and we turn a girl's head now and then...