Darkness

i'm scared of swimming in the sea 
dark shapes moving under me 
every fear i swallow makes me small 
inconsequential things occur 
alarms are triggered 
memories stir 

it's not the way it has to be 

i'm afraid of what i do not know 
i hate being undermined 
i'm afraid i can be devil man 
and i'm scared to be divine 
don't mess with me my fuse is short 
beneath this skin these fragments caught 

when i allow it to be 
there's no control over me 
i have my fears 
but they do not have me 

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods 
the deeper I go, the darker it gets 
i peer through the window 
knock at the door 
and the monster i was 
so afraid of 
lies curled up on the floor 
is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy 

i cry until i laugh 

i'm afraid of being mothered 
with my balls shut in the pen 
i'm afraid of loving women 
and i'm scared of loving men 
flashbacks coming in every night 
don't tell me everything's alright 

when I allow it to be 
it has no control over me 
i own my fear 
so it doesn't own me 

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods 
the deeper i go, the darker it gets 
i peer through the window 
knock at the door 
and the monster i was 
so afraid of 
lies curled up on the floor 
is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy 

i cry until i laugh