(Jorma) Hey yo, new Lonely Island, 2011, let's get 'em Kiv!

(Jorma) Hey yo, new Lonely Island, 2011, let's get 'em Kiv! 
(Akiva) Hey yo my [bad word] don't work, that [bad word] is soft as a pillow, 
My girly lookin' at me like 
You for real dude? 
(Jorma) Hey yo, hold up, hold up. We gotta come harder than that. Yo, tell 'em Andy... 
(Andy) I think there might be something wrong with my [bad word]  
It's like a melted stick of butter 
So soft that it can't fill a rubber 
(Jorma) Hey yo, come on man, this is Lonely Island. People are countin' on us. I gotta write all these [bad word] myself- 
Hey yo, I think I broke my [bad word] in the sink, 
It's so small and ugly, 
All smashed and flat like it was playin' rugby, 
Hold up, hold up, this is serious. Kiv, let 'em know. 
(Akiva) Yo for real though, I suffer from stinky [bad word] 
Every time I take a [bad word] it smells just like [bad word] 
(Jorma) Ha ha, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Andy, show 'em how it's done. 
(Andy) My [bad word] looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, 
Smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake, 
(Jorma) Lonely Island, Grammy-nominated, yeah! Hit 'em again. 

(Akiva) Yo, straight out the box with my soggy little shrimp, 
I was an eight year old girl before the doctor found my [bad word]  
(Jorma) We make too much money for this [bad word]  Murder music... 
(Andy) I [bad word] the bed cause my [bad word] played a prank on my butt, 
Straight crept when I slept and stuck a laxative up! 
(Jorma) Depository music! What y'all know about incontinence? 
(Akiva) I got Hepatitis from a horse, but no confusion, 
It wasn't from the , it was the blood transfusion! 
(Jorma) What?! [bad word] got horse blood! What y'all got? 
(Andy) I write freaky fan-fiction where cartoons [bad word]  
Got CGI Garfield licking Marmaduke's nuts! 
(Jorma) Wooo! I would like to see that! This that Garfield  music! Now y'all just showing off! Preach. 
(Akiva) I got a friend named Reggie who lives down at the dump, 
Every other week I swing by to bring him some lunch! 
(Jorma) Oh! Now that just sounds nice! Imma call it right there. Game over, [bad word]  Lonely Island, we started this fake-rap [bad word]  The world needs us!