How to pronounce EA SPORTS

My name is Andrew Anthony, and I am the voice of "EA SPORTS".

Today I have been asked to conduct a short tutorial on the correct pronunciation, inflection, intonation, and delivery of the line "EA SPORTS". Now I know you've got a lot to cover today, so I'll keep this short.

First, and probably most important, is volume. "EA SPORTS" is not something to be delivered lightly.
It is firm, it is aggressive, it is your guts hurdling to the air as you growl like a hungry dog on a T-bone.
As an exercise, please turn to the person behind you  and scream, "I WANT YOUR JOB", three times, just as loud as you can.

The second most important is inflection. It is "EA SPORTS", not "Ea sports", not "e sports" and sure as hell not "a sports". No, my friends, there is only one true inflection: capital "E", capital "A", capital "SPORTS". Afterall, it's not "U s a" and it's not "u S A". It's "USA" and it's "EA SPORTS".

Thirdly, pronunciation. seemingly simple thing, really. After all it's eight measly letters "EA SPORTS". What's so hard about that? And yet you'd be surprised at what we've come across in our travels.

For instance:
The English version, "Yea, right, then? ea sports, right?"
The Middle Eastern version, "Oh my God, ea sports!"
The Canadian version, "EA SPORTS ei"
The dyslexic version, "AE SPORTS"
The punk version, "EA... ahhh, [bad word] it"
And the mind version.

Lastly, and by no means do we mean least important, attitude. This is a company that kicks [bad word]  It takes no prisoners, it offers no apologies. There is a swagger, and it is attitude that makes this line sing. For in a doggie dog-world that we plan we are the snarling, slumbering, eyes rolling back in our heads Pitbull, chawing down on our competitors like so many crispy little doggie snacks. So everytime you let rip to the heavens the line: "EA SPORTS, It's in the game", you say it with attitude, and you say it like it's the last happiest breath you are ever gonna take. Now turn to the person closest to you, and give it up, man. One time, with feeling, "EA SPORTS, It's in the game!"

That concludes today's tutorial. Thank you.