Many Wills

I'm lying on my bed now
No morning gives me promise
of a glorious day
Will happiness return'
I overdrink the day
I overdring the night
I'm drinking forth myself
abroad to an empty loss
down to a sunless sea
to drown in my own misery
Will my happiness return'
Will the night lay to rest?
Future-expectations there?
Hopeful promise anywhere?
Will my happiness return?
Will the night lay to rest?
Will the rainbow bridge my ways?
Will there be glorious days?
I'm a stranger for the world
Nevermore to dance
Isolation in my rooms
Oh [bad word] that I was born
Too many wills that [bad word] [bad word] 
No chance to realize
The final countown, final flight
to false illusions, astral suicide
I'll stop my sadness, use the key
to the outlet of my misery