Harper Valley PTA

I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widow wife 
Who had a teenage daughter that attended Harper Valley Junior High 
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play 
And she said, "Mama, I've got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA" 
Well the note says "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high 
It's been reported you've been drinkin' and [bad word] #39; round with men and goin' wild 
Now we don't believe you ought to be a bringin' up your little girl this way" 
And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley PTA 

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon 
And boy, were they surprised as Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room 
And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the word she had to say 
She said "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA 

Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he's asked me for a date 
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away 
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town 
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all [bad word] down 

Now Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he's stayed too long in Kelly's bar again 
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin 
And then you have the nerve to tell me as a mother you think that I ain't fit 
Well this is just a little Payton place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrits 

Now I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way 
That day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA 
That day my Mama socked it to 'em at the Harper Valley PTA