Witness

Expose me for all that I am
The man behind the masquerade
I am my own false witness
Fact resides solely in the depths of my mind

And will I ever really let [bad word] to surface?
You only see what I want you to see
And you believe all that you’re told
Serenity is a beautiful hoax, a liar

I have the whole world convinced of my contentment
No [bad word] in this
I’ve lost count of all the times I made it home alive
And wished I hadn’t

Expose me for all that I am
The man behind the masquerade
I am my own false witness
I’m left to conquer the mountains in my mind

And I am my maker
Life is what’s killing me
I hate the fact that I’m just fine
Forever seeking anything to take responsibility

Life is what’s killing me
I hate the fact that I’m alive
Forever searching for my scapegoat
Because I refuse to face reality

At least I can say I tried to cherish every single day
When I woke up and didn’t want to die
I’d work my hands down to the bone
Trying to stay suspended in those specific seconds

But I know I’d just be counting down the minutes until I’m miserable again