"Stupidity, Self Hatred, Further Analysis."

You can't tell me that it is okay for me to feel this way, all of the [bad word] time, because I am so sick of myself and everyone around me.
Remember the day you left?
You said you'd see me soon and that it would be the same.
You promised, you promised.
But did we even want it to be the same..
Maybe its just all her fault, but I don't want to push blame.
Maybe its because their divorce, but in the end I don't care.
Because I know I will always feel alone, even in a room full of people who pretend to call themselves my friends.
Forget it, who am I kidding?
Its all one big joke isn't it?
Because I know that I..I don't deserve you and the joy that you bring me.
But ill try for you.