I used to say i love you

I used to say I love you
It wasn't really [bad word] I wanted to believe it
And now I almost do
I used to say I love you
I said it as a threat
Or maybe as a promise
To see what I could get
But my heart doesn't break anymore
No my heart doesn't ache anymore
'Cause it just couldn't take any more
And I've lost my illusions about you now
I used to say I love you
It wasn't what I meant
What I really meant [bad word] on in my tent
But you were reluctant
Although I was so hot
Now I understand it
But back then I did not
But my heart doesn't wear anymore
No my heart doesn't care anymore
'Cause my heart isn't there anymore
And I've lost my illusions about you now
And now if I should see you
Or call you on the phone
I wonder who's that person
I could never call my own
Although I kind of like you
I'll never understand
Why I got so excited
Each time that we held hands
'Cause my heart doesn't feel anymore
No my heart doesn't wheel anymore
'Cause it just isn't real anymore
And I've lost my illusions about you now