Welcome to Kind’s Landing, a city of kings and whores where everything c

Welcome to Kind’s Landing, a city of kings and whores where everything can happen.
Yes, quite right.
Do be careful, ‘cause [bad word] s about to get real’
Do be careful, ‘cause [bad word] s about to get real’

Hoooo
Well, I’m the [bad word]  King
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty
When I drop the [bad word]  hammer, invade like a pathogen
Now gimme three whores, so I can smack that [bad word] again
And build a bigger orphanage to put all my [bad word] in.

Me wife’s a brother [bad word] and a straight-up [bad word] Who gave me three blonde [bad word]  but her daddy is rich
Wine!
All this [bad word] lickin’’s makin’ me sick I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas.

CERSEI: I gestated my bro’s DNA...
TYRION: Not mine.
CERSEI: ...throught my inbred kids were okay
But I’m afraid that...
NED: Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of [bad word] 

JOFFREY: You better say that I’m the king or I’ll chop of your head I’ll put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed.
SANSA: Your grace.
JOFFREY: Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face.
Women are so weak and weary bring her back when she has her period.
Burn the traitors, crush the North, kill the babies, [bad word] the poor, 
I’m so bored with cutting out tongues, but I’m gettin’ it down, mutilating whores.
MARGAERY: Is this yours? 
JOFFREY: Yes, it is.
MARGAERY: Talk about killing, I love that [bad word]  
Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts.
JOFFREY: Hold on, I’m about to [bad word] 

VARYS: Sadly, I cannot. 
PYCELLE: No [bad word]  quite right.
BAELISH: sorcerer cut off your junk, we know. At least it wasn’t your head.
VARYS: Poor Ned Stark. What will the North do? 
PYCELLE: My [bad word] is like baking soda.
VARYS: The Stark bannermen?
BAELISH: Why are they so [bad word] happy?

ROBB: Yeah, yeah! We fight for independence, it’s a glorious day
‘cause I married for love, and it’s cool with the Freys
Yeah, we’re heading to a wedding, gonna party today 
And I’m gonna be a dad? God, everything’s great! 

CATELYN: Winter is coming. 
ROBB: So we’ll hang out inside!
CATELYN: But Winterfell burned down, Robb
ROBB: Look on the bright side. Lemme hear my Starks: are we doin’ alright?

BRAN: Father’s dead, we’re homeless, and I’m crippled for life.
RICKON: I’m hungry. 
ARYA: I’m alone in the middle of a war.
SANSA: I love the [bad word] boy, but I married the dwarf.

ROBB: See that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, we’re havin’ a ball.
LYSA: I’m gonna breastfeed Robin ‘til my [bad word] fall off.
ROBB: Brienne, how’s it going with the Kingslayer? 
BRIENNE: Rapists have me and I’m fighting a bear!
ROBB: Cool! How’s it hangin’, Theon? 
THEON: Realy bad!
ARYA: I met a lady who had demons in her wag!

EVERYBODY: We are the North Side, ey! Doin’ it our own way!
ROBB: Hey, it’s my boy - Jon Snow! What up, Jon? 

SAMWELL: Um, hello. We’ve got a bit of a problem at the Wall.
It’s... It’s a bit nippy... and...
JON SNOW: This [bad word]  Whitewalkers! [bad word] s crazy, I’m freezin’ to death with Thieves and rapers, 
Had to swear off  if I could take it back, I’d take the black
Shove it up Craster’s [bad word]  but it’s too late for that,
With zombies surgin’ south.

SAMWELL: I’m out.
JON SNOW: I’m gonna die a virgin now,
But wo-day, they was a wild woman took me into a cave, got undressed
SAMWELL: You saw [bad word]  
JON SNOW: Yeah, and we had... Cave !
SAMWELL: Cave ?
JON SNOW: Yeah, cave ! 
SAMWELL: You knew where to put it!
JON SNOW: Oh, cave ! 
SAMWELL: I forgot to send the ravens.
JON SNOW: I’m havin’ cave !
SAMWELL: Cave !

VARYS: Seven hells
ROBB: Who is that? 
ROBERT: It’s the Targaryen girl
JOFFREY: Sound the alarms!
ROBERT: She’s come to take back the Seven Kingdoms.
ROBB: Well, it’s more like six Kingdoms now.
JOFFREY: Hide me with the children!
ROBB: You know since