There once was a boy named Harry

There once was a boy named Harry
Destined to be a star
His parents were killed by Voldemort who gave him a lighting scar.

‘Yo Harry Yer a wizard’

Harry goes to Hogwarts
He meets Ron and Hermione
McGonagall requires he play for Gryffindor
Draco is a daddy’s boy
Quirrell [bad word] unemployed
The Sorcerer’s Stone is destroyed by Dumbledore

Ron breaks his wand
Now Ginny’s gone and Harry’s in mortal danger
Tom Riddle hides his snake inside his ginormous secret chamber

Harry blows up aunt Marge
The [bad word] and take charge
Lupin is a wolf
The rat’s a man 
and now the prisoner is at large
They use time travel so they can save the prisoner of Azkaban
Who just so happens to be Harry’s godfather I don’t really get it either

Harry gets put in the Triwizard tournament with dragons and mermaids
Oh no,
Edward Cullen gets slain
He’s back.

Harry, Harry, it’s getting scary
Voldemort’s back and you’re a revolutionary Harry
Dumbledore, Dumbledore
Why is he ignoring your constant attempts to contact him?
He is forced to leave the school
Umbridge arrives, Draco’s a tool, kids break in to the Ministry
Sirius Black is dead as can be!

Oh, split your soul, seven parts of a whole
They’re [bad word]  it’s Dumbledore’s end

There once was a boy named Harry who constantly conquered death
But in one final duel between good and bad
He may take his final breath.