Lah-Di-Dah

Now we're agreed that we're in love
 We'll have to face the lah-di-dah,
 The eyewash, all of the fancy pantomime.
 (I love you very much.)
 I'll try love, I'll bill and coo
 With your gruesome Auntie Susan
 I'll stay calm, I'll play it cool;
 I'll let your tetchy uncles
 Get me back up, cross my heart.
 And I shan't get shirty when they say I look peculiar.

 I'll be nice to your mother,
 I'll come all over lah-di-dah,
 Although she always gets up me nose.
 (I love you very much.)
 And so I'll smile and I'll acquiesce
 When she invites me to caress
 Her scabby cat;
 I'll sit still while she knits
 And witters, cross my heart,
 And I shan't lay a finger on the crabby old batface.

 I'll be polite to your daddy,
 Frightfully lah-di-dah,
 Although he always bores me to my boots.
 (I love you very much.)
 And so I won't boo and hiss
 When he starts to reminisce
 I won't drop off, I won't flare up;
 The runs he used to score
 And how he won the war, cross my heart,
 But I'll have to grit me teeth when he goes on about his rupture.

 I'll behave at the wedding breakfast
 I'll be lah-di-dah
 So help me! Hearty toasts and risky jokes!
 (I love you very much.)
 So help me, I'll force a laugh
 For the flicking photographs
 So have no fear, I won't turn tail;
 I won't run amuck when the females chuck
 Confetti in my ears
 And cross me heart, love, I'll keep off the pale ale.

 When we're off on our own
 No more lah-di-bloody-dah
 I promise, we just won't have the time
 We won't have time for such,
 Such fancy pantomimes.
 (I'll love you far too much.)