Survivor's guilt

expectations weigh on me 
to satisfy these endless needs 
and i don't care and i don't know why 
maybe i'm no good inside 
all this wasted time 
to see your [bad word] up life 
become mine 

all these thoughts just won't be still 
i bless my habit, pray to pills 
i can't be part of your life 
until i know how to die 
all this wasted time 
to see your [bad word] up life 
become mine 

fake flowers begin to wilt 
in this house my heart had built 
to keep me far away from us 
i know i'm not brave enough 
keep me far away from us 
i'll never be brave enough 
all this wasted time 
to see your [bad word] up life 
become mine