You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly (With Conway Twitty)

You're the reason I'm a-ridin' 'round on recapped tyres.
An' you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on walls.
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Ah but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.
You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop.
An' you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop.
You're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Oh, but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.
I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need.
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed.
And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone.
And that's the reason I ain't got no hair [bad word] 
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Ah but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.
Conway, why in the devil don't you gon and shave an' put on a clean pair of pants?
Loretta, look at yourself.
I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair an' go put on a little bit of make up.
An' get out of the housecoat before supper.
Ha! Well let me tell you somethin', Conway.
Considerin' everything I went through today, I look like a movie star.
 [bad word] Cassidy!
Thank you.
Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of our family anyway.
Oh they did, huh? What about the one's that's bald?
Well, I guess you might say they took after me.