i wish that i had known in that first minute we met

i wish that i had known in that first minute we met
the unpayable debt that I owed you
because you'd been abused
by that bone that refused you
and you hired me to make up for that

walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms
those singing morphine alarms out of tune
kept you sleeping and even
and i didn't believe them
when they called you a hurricane thunderclap

when i was checking vitals I suggested a smile
you didn't talk for a while; you were freezing
you said you hated my tone
it made you feel so alone
and so you told me i ought to be leaving
but something kept me standing by that hospital bed
i should have quit
but instead i took care of you

you made me sleep and uneven
and I didn't believe them
when they told me there was no saving you.