Oblivious To The Obvious

NO CHANCE

He was never there for me
He rarely looked my way
When he’d come home tired from work
He never had a thing to say
And if he ever spoke to me
It was always in anger
When I tried to speak to him
He’d treat me like a stranger
What kind of father hits his son,
Takes out his pain on everyone?
Thinks only of himself, like he’s the only one
Who exists in the world that needs someone
What chance did I have 
Of turning out right?
I never learned a thing at home
That could help me with my life
Always being yelled at
And deprived of any fun
That childhood should consist of
Never loved by anyone
She always shot me down
With a bullet from her mouth
She made me feel so guilty
If I wanted to leave the house
She’d disregard everyone
In a power-hungry spree
Clean the house like a psycho
Driven by her OCD
What kind of mother neglects her son,
Puts down her child, says he’s no one?
Thinks only of herself and if her house is clean
Wants nothing more than status and prestige
What chance did I have 
Of turning out right?
I never learned a thing at home
That could help me with my life
Always being yelled at
And deprived of any fun
That childhood should consist of
Never loved by anyone
No chance of having self-esteem
No chance when rage is a constant theme
No chance of showing love for their son
No chance when they think about themselves or else no one
No chance when innocence is reviled
No chance when blame is placed upon a child
No chance if good examples can’t be found
No chance if parents do not want to be around

REALIZATION

The news dropped like a bomb
And I felt numb inside
How could I get cancer?
I pleaded for God to give me an answer
The diagnosis compelled me
To look back at my life
What I saw brought sorrow
troubled past and a bleak tomorrow
My life is such a tragedy
The common theme is misery
Now my end is drawing near
They say I’ll die within the year
I look inside and see my parents’ ghosts
I’ve become the thing I hated most
The pain is tearing me in two
The guilt is burning me right through
Why did it take something like this
To make me realize I’m just like them?
I treat my kids unfairly, I know them just barely
I’ve never shown caring, I’m sure that they hate me
I look inside and see my parents’ ghosts
I’ve become the thing I hated most
The pain is tearing me in two
The guilt is burning me right through
Is it too late to make amends?
Is it too late to forgive my sins?
Will my kids even care when I’m dead?
I ever a thought in their heads?

REMEMBER ME

I know that I’m committed to change
Change is something that will take time
Time is stealing away from me
My chance to become what I should be
My chance to become
I don’t have time
To gain their trust
I want to prove
They have my love
I hope my death
Will make them weep
But I fear their wounds
Have run too deep
Time is against me
They’re better off without me
But before I meet my death
I will use my every breath
To tell them I was wrong
And to change who I’ve become
So that when I’m gone
Someone will remember me
I asked each one for their forgiveness
I acknowledged that I had failed them all
I have to mend the damage caused
But change takes longer than I thought
But change takes so long
I don’t have strength
To give enough
I want to show
I’m serious
I hope my life
Is far from gone
But I fear my chance
Has been withdrawn
Time is against me
They’re better off without me
But before I meet my death
I will use my every breath
To tell them I was wrong
And to change who I’ve become
So that when I’m gone
Someone will remember me
I’m free
I have redemption
It is in remission
And I’ll make good my second chance
I’m free
I have recognition
I’m in transition
To the man I want to be