Bang The Drum Slowly

i just cannot stop
asking why, always [bad word] and running
wandering and wondering
no matter how many years fly by
screaming who, what and when
like some crazed eight year old
who needs to know everything 
in a world so filled with [bad word] and running
towards one ounce of proof
things that will not [bad word] at the slightest touch
you tell me who the [bad word] i抦 gonna [bad word] i can抰 stand looking at grown-ups
never mind [bad word] them
loud and proud laughing at things that are not funny
chewing happily on what is left
of this cold, gray, flawed world
i just gotta keep right [bad word] away from it all
towards tears born from lesson
towards dreams instead of dollars
half my age and stupidly brave
慶uz anything is better than lying in [bad word] deathbed
staring into the abyss
as afraid of living as i am of not living
though one time i awoke 
and could still feel the cold steel of a sword
that had been [bad word] into me