Yo.. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *)

Yo.. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *)
Mic check.. (My [bad word] )
Testing.. one, two (* Eminem hach-spits on mic *)
Ffff [bad word] . (My [bad word] ) My nuts..

My attitude is worse than NWA's was
I'll battle you over stupid [bad word] and diss people
Who ain't have [bad word] to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,
Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (WAIT!)
I look at my life in a new light -- [bad word] it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- [bad word] what you like
You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+ [bad word]  Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
(* zipper sound [bad word] on, let's go!
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you [bad word] with me)
And make [bad word] to your basement and listen
(you're gonna [bad word] check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
And put yours on the owner's table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before'
Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have [bad word] see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
Givin you [bad word] [bad word] - don't even bother askin me (get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right in the [bad word] when I'm spittin
Cause I'm always [bad word] when I'm rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!)
Got a [bad word] from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
My balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this [bad word] was all about me-ah (It's all about me..)
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea (You're a [bad word] )
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me [bad word] Aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- [bad word] your wife in the [bad word] (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!)
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass

So if I hurt your self-esteem
And you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha [bad word] you wished you had [big [bad word] ]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
I can't listen to that song, that [bad word] s too sad!
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! [Nurse! Nurse!]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play
Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
In your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *)
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache
You talk a lotta [bad word]  but you was never ill though
I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!)
Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half
Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+
And wiped my [bad word] with his page in Source (Here!)
The demon is here, steamin this year
I rip [*Mystikal's*] voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!)
It's not a gimmick [bad word]  it's an image I live it
Give a [bad word]  I