The USS Make Shit Up

I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock
Ee met a nasty [bad word] alien who locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head

Bust a move, Tog

I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see
the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach

And I say,
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some [bad word] up

And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit
Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some [bad word] He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face

And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise 
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee

And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some [bad word] up

Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place 
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the [bad word] Jem-hadar

What is with the Klingons, remember in the day 
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead 
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads

And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some [bad word] up

Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"

We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into [bad word] But this one has a smashing [bad word] and a lovely set of [bad word] 
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some [bad word] up