Sailor Boy

As lover, I’m [bad word]  She’s always known it.
She craves confusion, I aid her delusion.
The sailor boy, her sailor boy.
junkie’s eyes, handsome and thin.
Ropes, blows and whips, oh I bound her within.
Oh-oh.
It’s funny, It’s funny, It’s funny  I say.
How insecurity works out this way.
The bigger my sins, more she wants me.
The bigger my lies, more she gives to me.
I choose when I hurt her, I choose when she smiles. 
There’s  annihilation here, the love I defile.
I lose my need for her, lose my feelings.
Lose myself in this puddle of drugs.
In our ship, she patches the holes.
I hit her when she needs me to, she keeps control.
Thought  I was on top , but I see I’m below.
Thought  I was captain, she stows me in hold.
Now I cannot get this collar off of my neck.
Now I cannot abandon this wreck.