Pornoshop

Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Edwin Meese, Edwin Meese,
him and his flock of Canadian geese,
are flyin’ to the south side of town.
They’re comin’ to close me down
cuz they can’t get it up anymore.
(Come on down, come on down
come on down to the Pornoshop)
They’re tryin’ to close my store.
They’re comin’ down to try to bust me
but they can’t take away my inventory.
Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Come on in, we got private booths
Where you can wear a leisure chute
Come on in, we’ll give you rope
so you can jack off while you’re shootin’ dope
I own the door . . . .
I mop the floor . . . .
Nobody uses the ashtrays anymore
I been workin’ here all my life
I ain’t even got no wife
but I got inflatable dolls
We got vibrators up the [bad word] You can come and make a pass
Slap the monkey while you wait
Come on in and suck the bait
Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Miss McDonald had some [bad word]  E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm she had a master, E-I-E-I-O
With a dead [bad word] here and a dead [bad word] there
Here a [bad word] there a [bad word] everywhere a crock pot
Miss McDonald served some [bad word]  E-I-E-I-O
Over 33 dead after they were served! It’s not as horrid as
them awful hamburgers or disgusting french fries, you crock pot!
We put everything in a brown paper bag
Because we are purveyors of fine [bad word] They tried to get me to open a Pizza Hut
Instrumental break! (“Oh, I love your big [bad word] ”)
We got tapestries of Charlie Monoxide givin’ head to a parrot,
not to mention his priceless erotica collection, international in scope!
I don’t care if you’re from France
or Spain or Belgium with a pack in your pants
I’ll be workin’ around the clock
If I get bored I’ll play with my [bad word] My job to me will never matter
cuz I’ll end up with the pancake batter
Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Here comes Ed Meese with his Russian babe
She’s from Kiev, her name is Gabe
And she’s sufferin’ from a severe case of Soviet jewelry
We never close (we never close)
Cuz we know you gotta hose
(and because we know there will never be a
separation between SHOP and STATE)
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong
Ding dong the shop is closed
The Pornoshop, the pornoshop
Ding dong, the pornoshop is closed!