I'm A Lesbian (live Melissa Etheridge Parody)

Please momma can't you see, I’ve always tried to please
I wore ribbons and jewelry and make up and perfume and dresses down to my knees
You said that it's a phase, just something I’d out grow
But I got a girlfriend and she's got a lawn that I’d sure like to mow
Go on and wish that Brad Pitt [bad word] along
But I prefer Madonna in a lacy thong

'Cause I’m a [bad word]  I don’t like nothing swinging 'tween there legs
Yeah I’m a [bad word]  I don’t know why god gave me eggs
When I have  it's fun and clean, and no man can jump in between
No I don’t need no magic wand
I’m a [bad word] 

They talk behind my back and critize my life
But I get [bad word] from Lou Donna Frillaze wife

'Cause I’m a [bad word]  I'd rather be with jane than [bad word] 
Yeah I’m a [bad word]  a [bad word] doesn’t do the trick
When we go in for 69, I know her's is the same as mine
Hide your wives cause hear [bad word] 
I’m a [bad word] 

I’m a [bad word] 
When does cheerleading practice start
Hey there cutie