Don't approach closer

Mr. Samberg Thanks for coming to your performance review
No problem
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss
Well the first thing I do is...

Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a  line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss) [bad word] on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh [bad word] man I can't [bad word] do it... [bad word]  [bad word] out (like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's [bad word] (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own [bad word] (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss) [bad word] its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt
You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own [bad word] Nope!
Actually I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me
I'm the boss
Yeah, no I got that. You said it about four-hundred times
I'm the boss
Yeah yeah I got it!
I'm the boss
No I heard you, see ya later
LIKE BOSS!