That's Not How the Story Goes

You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail,
and be tucked some place all safe and sound.
Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail,
his henchpeople nowhere around.

But there’s no happy endings, 
not here and not now,
this tale is all sorrows and woes.
You may dream that justice and peace win the day,
but that’s not how the story goes.

You might think that two parents, 
both brave and both [bad word] 
would live till a nice ripe old age,
but I’m sad to say I have bad news for you,
the curtain rains down on the stage.

Yes there’s no happy endings, 
not here and not now,
this tale is all sorrows and woes.
You might dream that justice and peace win the day,
but that’s not how the story goes.

I once loved a girl,
and she thought well of me,
we thought we’d be happy together,
but now I’m alone as you can well see,
she’s cold in her grave forever.

There’s no happy endings,
not here and not now,
this tale is all sorrows and woes.
You might dream that justice and peace win the day,
but that’s not how the story goes.

The world is a pair of ill [bad word] pants,
and other dire, hideous clothes.
You might think that three children 
would lead pleasant lives,
but that’s not how the story goes.

Some people smile at the end of the day.
Some people laugh I suppose.
But to me there is nothing but gloom and despair,
that’s just how the story goes.
That’s just how the story goes!