Birdcage Religion

So slowly I'm losing 
who I've sworn to be. 
a promise in pencil 
that years have made so hard to read. 
I've spent my life building walls 
brick by brick and [bad word] by [bad word] .. 
a birdcage religion that whispered me to sleep. 

but time is spinning silk 
that [bad word]  
with the devil's patience, 
it binds my hands so quietly 
that soon it [bad word] a part of me. 

so soften these edges and straighten out my tie. 
and help me remember 
the hope that I [bad word]  

please be a broken record for me.