Deeper Down

An unfortunate journey
Through a bleak sea of loneliness
I carve through the waves of grief
In a black vastness of self doubt

I have never felt so alone
So pitiful and wretched and low
I'm tried by a terrible wind
The misery and the pains blow

Fill my vast sails [bad word] Steer me toward a bleak end
horizon of purples and reds
The still waters of my [bad word] end

The clouds of [bad word] overhead
storm will hunt me down
And rip the guts out of my body
That I would surely drown

The unforgiving wind searches
And lashes me like a whip
The self-pity overwhelms me
My heart sinks like a ship

Thrashing out at torment and pain
The maddened sea engulfs me
I let myself be swallowed up
The magnificent weight upon me

Deeper I go, deeper down
Didn't think it could get any blacker
The cold bites, the pressure builds
I think I no longer matter

Can't tell if my eyes are open or closed
The grieving waters swallow
The pain I'm in through my life of sin
The Devil will doubtless follow

Loneliness is agony
For those of you who know
war of grief and sadness rages
Through mind, body and soul

When lovers die and friendships fade
When kin all lie forgotten
The gates of agony spew forth
Your memories, stinking and rotten

So deep now I feel so numb
I'm ravaged by utter loss
The guilt, The grief, The astounding pain
My body, they all will wash

I hope and I ne'er return to life
Oh, Christ just let me go
Let death devour my simple soul
Lest my misery grow

I quietly leave. lonely sight
Relieved of all my guilt
To join a wall in deeper [bad word] The Devil himself has built