Heaven's Almost As Big As Texas (1979)

Heaven's Almost As Big As Texas
Recorded by Johnny Paycheck
Written by Robert Lee Floyd
 
                                                     
Well he walked into the bar room ragged pants and an overcoat 
                          
When at first I saw him I thought he was a joke
                          
When he started preaching I almost dropped my beer
                                    
I thought John The Baptist had walked in here

                                           
In his hand he held a bible and he had scary look
                              
He could quote the scriptures without opening the book
                                    
He wasn't to good looking he wouldn't drive the ladies wild
                                     
But I'll have to say he [bad word] sure had his style

                             
He said heaven's almost big as Texas
                         
Angels sing like Charley Pride
                                           
And I'll bet you'll say Jesus looks a lot like Waylon hoss 
                                     
And when he plays there ain't no place to hide 

                                                        
Well he preached about ten minutes then he gave the alter call
                                         
Eighty old [bad word] and four barmaids have their backs to the wall
                                  
I held on to my barstool so hard my hands turned white
                                   
He looked like he knew where I was that night

Repeat #3

                                              
He went out the back door and vanished into the night
                               
It took a quart of Jim Bean to get me over the fright
                                    
I don't know where he was going and I didn't catch his name
                              
But if I go to [bad word] he won't be to blame

Repeat #3 Cause he said...

                                          
Yeah and when he plays there ain't no place to hide.