The Decision of Love - forgiveness

I cannot say.
I cannot say.
I hoped to tell you long ago,
But I was too stubborn.
But time stole you away,
locked you into a despair so great.
And I could do nothing
to help [bad word] away from this.
All I can say,
is that though you've gone away,
I cannot stop these thoughts of you,
burning in my brain.
All I can say,
is that though you're far away,
I hope to reach you, tell you so much
that I'd ignored to say.

Something's there, so deeply buried.
Something's weighing on my heart, and,
I can no longer ignore it-
Painfully sweet, bittersweet I-
I have decided, no, long ago decided
You are such a dear friend to me, [bad word] to believe-
I am no longer afraid
to admit it, even though you're gone,
But I have made this decision,
So long ago made this decision.
Can you listen from where you are?
See now you are not longer alone.
You are no longer alone, I am here now.
I cannot say, I hope you understand.
I hope you hear me from where you are.
I cannot say, but this my
decision to love.