Captain Jack Sparrow

Secretary: Guys, Michael Bolton is here 

Oh Great, send him in. 

Michael Bolton: Hey guys. 

Hey, hi, thanks [bad word] 

Michael Bolton: Sorry I'm late, I got caught up watching that Pirates of the Carribean marathon. Have you 
seen those things? 

Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great. 

Michael Bolton: Well, I checked out the track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big y hook I think 
you're really gonna dig. 

Oh wow that's great, awesome. Should we just lay it down? 

Michael Bolton: Boys, lets get to it. 

Whisper: Here we go. 

Ungh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton 
YEAAAHH! 
The night starts now 
Together on the track, the boys are back 
The night starts now 
Night starts now baby roll with us, chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up. 
ROLLIN' UP 
Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up 
YEAH 
Black card at the bar like I gives a [bad word]   [bad word] ON 
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set, [bad word] the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet 
YEAH YEAH 
Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock, you either get cut, get stuffed or get shot. 

THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, PIRATE SO BRAVE ON THE SEVEN SEAS 
What? 
MYSTICAL QUEST TO THE ISLE OF TORTUGA, RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN'S 
BREEZE. 

Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club 
Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love 
KIERA KNIGHTLY 
 [bad word] ice-man, I'm the top gunner 
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner 
JACK SPARROW 
Watch it girl cause I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy", 
More like the "meet ya take you home and [bad word] you twice guy" 
YEAH YEAH! 
All dressed up with nowhere [bad word]  
And now I make you feel crazy with the… 
NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART: 
FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN, HE YEARNED FOR ADVENTURE 
Nooo 
OLD CAPTAIN JACK GIVING THEM WHAT FOR. 
HE'S THE PAUPER OF THE SURF 
(yeah…uh huh) 
THE JESTER OF TORTUGA 
(oh God) 
BUT IS DAVY JONES' LOCKER WHAT LIES IN STORE? 
Yeah, we've seen the movie 

Throw your hands in the air and say [bad word] [bad word] on 
CAPTAIN JACK 
What? 
JOHNNY DEPP 
No 
From the front to the back say we count [bad word] on 
DAVY JONES 
Nope 
GIANT SQUID 
Wrong 
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up 

ROGER THAT LET ME TRY IT WITH ANOTHER FILM 

Wait-- 

LIFE IS BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND MY NAME IS FORREST GUMP 
(Not better) 
THOUGH I'M NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED, I GIVE JENNY ALL OF MY LOVE 
 [bad word] on!) 
OK THEN I'M LEGAL AIDE, ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAME 
(Nooo, God) 
THEN YOU CAN CALL ME SCARFACE, SNORTIN MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE 
(close enough) 
YOU [bad word] WANNA PLAY ROUGH? OKAY, I'M RELOADED 

THIS IS THE TALE OF TONY MONTANA 
CUBANO FLAME, WITH THE MIAMI NUTS 
(Take it home!) 
GOT BASEHEAD WIFE, BUT HER WOMB IS POLLUTED 
THIS WHOLE TOWN'S [bad word]  JUST WAITING TO GET [bad word] #33; 

Ooookay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile 
 [bad word] ME! 
Yup, yeah, ok….