Even Deeper

I woke up today
To find myself in the other place
With a trail of my footprints
From where I ran away
It seems everything Ive heard
Just might be [bad word] And you know me
(well you think you do)
Sometimes, I have everything-
Yet I wish I felt something

Do you know how far this has gone? 
Just how damaged have I [bad word]  
When I think I can [bad word] [bad word] even deeper

In in a dream Im a different me
With a perfect you
We fit perfectly
And for once in my life I [bad word] 
And I still want [bad word] it
Afraid to look
As clear as day
This plan has long been underway

I hear them call
I cannot stay
The voice inviting me away

Do you know how far this has gone? 
Just how damaged have I [bad word]  
When I think I can [bad word] [bad word] even deeper
Everything that matters is gone
All the hands of hope have withdrawn
Could you try to help me hang on?  [bad word] ..

Im straight
I wont crack
On my way
And I cant turn back
Im okay
Im on track
On my way
And I cant turn back
I stayed
On this track
Gone too far
And I [bad word] back
I stayed
On this track
Lost my way [bad word] back