My Mom (Relapse,2009)

Yeah!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...
Okay! Alright!
Yo, Yo.
Yo! Yo!
Alright, money comes first.
Here we go now!

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs.
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her.
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs.
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom.

"My mom, my mom" --I know you're probably
tired of hearing the "my mom" oh-oh whoa-oh,
but this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
and how I became hooked on Va-al-iu-um.
Valium was in everything: food that I ate,
the water that I drank, [bad word] peas in my plate.
She sprinkled just enough of it just to season my steak
so everyday I had at least three stomach aches.
Now tell me what kind of mother would want to see her
son be grow up to be an under-a [bad word] -chiever?
My teacher didn't think I was gonna' be nothing, either:
"What the [bad word] you stickin' gum up under the [bad word]  seat for?"
"Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffing ether.
Either that or the [bad word] s been puffin reefer."
But all of this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was, either.
It was neither. I was buzzin', but it wasn't what she thought.
Pee in a tea cup? [bad word]  you ain't my keeper. I'm sleepin';
What the [bad word] you keep on [bad word]  with me for? [bad word]  you need to leave me the [bad word] alone; I ain't playin'.
Go find you a white crayon and color a [bad word]  zebra.

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs.
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her.
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs.
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom.

Wait a minute! This ain't dinner, this is paint thinner!
"You ate it yesterday; I ain't hear no complaints, did I?"
"Now here's a plate full of pain killers.
Now just wait 'til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes.
You little [bad word]  don't you sit there and make
that retarded [bad word]  face without even tastin' it!"
"You'd better lick the [bad word] , plate; you ain't wastin' it.
Put your face in it before I throw you in the basement again!
And I ain't givin' in. You're gonna' just sit there and want to [bad word]  play spin again
until next Thanksgiving, and if you still ain't finished it,
I'll use the same [bad word] again, and when I make spinach dip, it'll be placed in the [bad word] 
You little [bad word]  wanna' sit there and play innocent?
rat fell and hit me in K-Mart, and they witnessed it!
Child support? Your father, he ain't sent the [bad word] 
So what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid!"

My mom, there's no one else quite like my mom.
I know I should let bygones be bygones,
but she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on.

'Cuz my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs.
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her.
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs.
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom.

My mom loved Valium. Now, what I am is a party animal.
I am what I am, but I'm strong to the finish wit' me Valium spinach.
But my bars only last about two minutes!
But I don't want to swallow it without chewin' it.
I can't even write a rhyme without you in it, my Valium, my Val-i-um. Oh!

Man, I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict.
--"nah, [bad word] that, I can't have it happen to me!" but that's actually
what has ended up happenin' in a tragedy [bad word]  passin' it up back to me.
And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it?
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom! Beautiful!