Feat. Sollux Captor and Dave Strider

yo thing two and thing two squared it's just about time for a strider/captor rap battle
aaaalllllright everybody it's time to gather around
im bout to drop some [bad word] science on this no-talent clown 
and i ain't talking about gamzee cause he hasn't been found
see im a lyrical gunslinger and im starin you down
youre a bespectacled spectacle stumblin into my reticle
put you out of your mis'ry my mercy whoopin is ethical
i dont mean to get technical but your [bad word] aint symmetrical
here ill patch your code up with [bad word] theoretical
kindly pardon my [bad word] i don't mean to be confusin
left and right brain in collusion give your think pan a contusion
your dualitys delusion and realitys [bad word] and i wont waste another minute on this pity execution

kick it back barack
oh [bad word] me that would own

are you 2eriiou2ly 2teppiing two me, you iignorant priick?
your rhyme2 are 2taler than kankrii'2 whole 2ociial ju2tiice blog 2chtiick
you [bad word] off a2 iintelliigent 2o thii2 ought two be quiick
ju2t 2hut your chiitiinou2 wiindhole before you make u2 all siick
my 2hiit ii2 two hot two handle, iit's an biifurcated 2candal
ii'm liike a beenary vandal two whom you can't hold a candle
ii'll giive you ju2t a 2mall 2ample that you can try two un2cramble
and when you try two dii2mantle iit you'll get lyriically mangled
you're really awful at thii2 but ii thiink iit'2 cute that you triied
though you're a2 wa2hed up a2 eriidan po2t-fef at low tiide ([S] Attempt rare and highly dangerous 3x [bad word] )
you ought two count your2elf fortunate that ii even repliied
oh and call diirk over cau2e ii'm breakiing your 2triide

 [bad word]  son, y'all can rap! Got me surprised there for a moment.
ugh go [bad word] your2elf
UH C4N W3 G0 G3T 1C3CR34M N0W
yeah i want a sundae