The U.S.S. Make Shit Up

Well I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock
We met a nasty [bad word] alien, he locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head

Bust a move, Tog

I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see
The ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach

[chorus]:
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
Klingons and Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some [bad word] up

And I know he's just a child, and some think him a twit
But Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some [bad word] He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
Now if only he could beam that pimple off his face
(or whatever the [bad word] that thing was)

And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees

[chorus]

Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole'd opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the [bad word] Jem-Hadar

What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads

[chorus]

Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble, slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"

We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into [bad word] But this one's got a smashing [bad word] and a lovely set of [bad word] 
[chorus]

(bonus verse)
Well now they got a new show, and it's called Enterprise
And it takes place a hundred years before Kirk was alive
They say that it's a prequel, or so that's what it's called
It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved

They have a Vulcan female, and she's a nervous wreck
Her [bad word] is sweet as Seven's only green, so what the heck
They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads
I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed
(I'm not anatomically correct!)

And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making [bad word] up as we wish
Klingons and Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind
We're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behinds
We'll just make some [bad word] up!