I´m a Motherfucking T-Rex

A'right, so I'm walking down the street... you know, whatever... jus' minding my own business [Yeah, yeah I know]. I take a look and I see an Ice Cream Truck, and I'm like aww [bad word] man, y'know I want some ice cream. Cuz it is a hot [bad word]  day [Well yeah, man...] I want some [bad word] ice cream, so you know I go up there all the kids are running away y'know they're like "Oh my god a dinosaur!!" Y'know all that [bad word] [Pussies!] and I go up there and I say "'ey, I want some mint chocolate chip ice cream." Ice cream man looks at me and says "We don't have any mint chocolate chip ice cream" [Awww...] An' I told him, I said "Dude, I really want some mint chocolate chip ice cream." He says "I'm sorry. We don't have any mint chocolate chip ice cream."... 

...SO I ATE THAT [bad word] !! 

So I'm waitin' in line at the DMV, [Oh I hate that place] y'know, cuz I moved recently and [Yeah, I know] the, the address on my insurance doesn't match the address on my license. So, you know I, I gotta go in I gotta get that changed. Y'know, they gotta match and [bad word]  [Oh that's a pain in the [bad word]  So I go up to the lady, she's there show her my license and I say "'ey, I need this address changed" She says "You need two articles of mail." So I show her this card that, y'know, my mother wrote me, y'know cuz it's like hey y'know my mother she writes me cards. She's [bad word]  cool. Y'know she's my [bad word] mom. y'know? [Yeah] So I show this to the lady, and she's like "Oh, no no... sorry. This doesn't count. [Oh shiiiit.] It has to be something that the government recognizes [Oh, that [bad word] ] y'know like a bank statement or a bill or somethin' like that."... 

...SO I ATE THAT [bad word] !! 

So I'm online at a forum, y'know [Oh yeah?] and I'm tryin' to look up where I can get some good dinosaur [bad word]  Cuz, y'know I'm... I'm a Dinosaur. I want some dinosaur [bad word] [Yeah, you gotta do it, you gotta do it] So you know I'm... I'm lookin' around and ask on some of these [bad word] forums y'know [*laugh*] "Hey, where's the dinosaur [bad word] " and like everyone's tryin' to act like I'm not there. They're all tryin' to ignore me uhh except for this one kid. Okay, so this one kid decides he wants to answer me. Remember his name is Bobby. Bobby Lou. What the [bad word] kind of name is Bobby Lou? [Aww...] An' I'm saying "Hey, where's the dinosaur [bad word] at?" and he's like "Dude, what are you, some sort of freak?" I don't like that so okay, so I'm like "I just want my dinosaur [bad word]  okay? I... I don't want to cause any trouble." And he says "What? You a T-Rex or something?" I say "Yeah, yeah I am a T-Rex or somethin'" an' he says "What the hell you gonna do with dinosaur [bad word]  Your arms are so small you can't even touch it." [Oh no...] 

So I found out what state this guy was in, bought a plane ticket reserved a whole entire row, you know because I'm so [bad word] big, flew to Alabama to get a connecting flight. Finally got dropped off in Texas, hailed a cab, the driver didn't speak English, but I didn't care. He understood the address. So he drove me there. I rang the kid's doorbell waited a minute, he didn't answer, so I climbed into his window found out which room was his, bust open the door... 

...AND I ATE THAT [bad word] !!