Santa Hates Poor Kids

I really hate it that my family’s poor!
I really wish I was a rich kid
‘Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Christmas
Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance!
While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance
Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski
How the hell did he get a pterodactyl?

Gets me!

I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin
’til Jane got a slave and Google stock options
And I don’t think you understand
How it feels to see another kid roll up in his Bentley Power Wheels like
“Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it.”
He didn’t get you nothing
‘Cause your mom’s an alcoholic.

He’s right I got some underwear used by my brother
I’m like Oliver Twist, “Please may I have another?”
I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice!
Man, f-ck you Santa!
We’re spending Christmas with the homeless!

Santa must hate the poor kids.
‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich (Come on)
Santa Hates Poor Kids
Santa Hates Poor Kids
And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming
Nothing under your tree tonight!

And all I got was a charm bracelet with no charms
And a discharged G.I. Joe with no arms
And a drunk step dad
Man, I hate it here!
And mom got some cigarettes and half a case of beer
We’re too poor for Christmas music
We capella!
And our Christmas tree is just a busted umbrella with a bunch of junk glued to it
This sh-t is useless!
And Ravi said Santa also hates you if you’re Jewish.

Santa must hate the poor kids.
‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich (sing it!)
(Come on)
Santa Hates Poor Kids
Santa Hates Poor Kids
And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming
Nothing under your tree tonight!

Santa Hates Poor Kids
Ho, Ho, Ho!

F-ck you Santa! You fat motherf-cker!
How’d you get so big?
You been drinking butter?
Always acting jolly, I ain’t buying into that
And why you always trying to get kids to sit on your lap?
I heard you touch Scottish boys under the kilt
Hey Fatty Clause!
Stop eating my cookies and milk!
Or I’m going to go to the North Pole and enroll you in gym class.
And next year I’m leaving diet pills and Slim Fast
You see me while I’m sleeping
You creep me out
And while you watching me
Why you got to take your p*nis out?

So bring it Santa!
I’m not afraid to fight, b-tch!
I’ll whup you [bad word] and take a sh-t on your nice list!
I want to take you out in the worst way
If you’re a saint? Why’d you steal Jesus’ birthday?
So keep your dumb gifts Santa, we don’t need you!
And tell the Tooth Fairy, she’s a cheap b-tch too!

Santa Hates Poor Kids (Come on)
Santa Hates Poor Kids
And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming
Nothing under your tree tonight!
Santa Hates Poor Kids

And God bless us everyone
Shut the hell up Tiny Tim! You’re not helping