Expect Nothing Less

i keep losing sleep on couches and floors 
because I hate laying in this bed 
wishing for so much more 
than the growing pain that formed in my chest and my head 
but expected nothing less 
than a few reassuring words 
and the sound of bitter resentment in your voice 
knowing I couldn't do anything more for us 
because it was always your choice. 

It was always your choice 
and this is the second time 
you came into my life 
wanting to build something from the ground up 
after knocking down my walls 
and in an expected turn of events 
you left me out in the open 
as if i didn't matter to you at all. 
And now I just want to feel the air in my lungs again 
and the heart beating in my chest 

but that was taken the moment 
you drove back down south 
to your home near the beach with 
a view almost as beautiful as you. 

And in the 3 seconds between 
you letting go of that last kiss 
and us saying our goodbyes 
I was ready to believe it would be the last time I'd ever held you. 
And I was right. 

And I heard you felt so sorry 
but you never told me specifically 
and all I could use now is an apology 
but you're too busy lost in his sheets 

and what was so wrong with me 
that I couldn't get you to stay 
you filled me with joy 
and I cherished that every day 

at least I was able to tell you goodbye this time 
remember when you promised me that there would never be a last time? 
well where are you now cause I need you here by my side 

I guess everything I wanted to believe so terribly bad was just a lie 
and everything thing you said 
that used to make me feel alive 
just makes me feel dead 

I just want to see one of us happy 
I know youre happier than me