But first let me take a selfie

When Jason was at the table 
I kept seeing him look at me when he was with that other girl 
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous? 
Because he was totally texting me all night last night 
and I don't know if it's a booty call or not 
Sooo... like what do you think? 
Did you think that girl was pretty? 
How did that girl even get in here? 
Did you see her? 
She is so short and that dress is so tacky 
Who wears cheetah? 
It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing Summertime Sadness?
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? 
I really need one 
But first, let me take a selfie 

Let me take a selfie 

Can you guys help me pick a filter? 
I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia 
I want to look tan 
What should my caption be? 
I want it to be clever 
How about "Livin' with my [bad word]  Hashtag LIV" 
I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes 
Do you think I should take it down? 
Let me take another selfie 

Let me take a selfie 

Wait pause, Jason just liked my selfie 
What a creep 
Is that guy sleeping over there? 
Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on 
Thats so ratchet.. 
That girl is such a fake model 
She definitely bought all her Instagram followers 
Who goes out on Mondays? 
OK lets go take some shots 
Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up 
Oh wait never mind I'm fine 
Lets go dance 
There's no vodka at this table 
Do you know anyone else here? 
Oh my god, Jason just texted me 
Should I go home with him? 
I guess I took a good selfie 

Let me take a selfie 

Let me take a selfie