I'll get by

I used to listen to my life,
I was so put together, 
I chose what I wanted to be in that age of chasing sand,
the age of believing in everything,
but I couldn't save you,
I couldn't save what was taken away,
and I'm still singing, and you still can't stay.
You "loved life," and those words have lasted, 
I just wish I would have had ears for more than what you said
because I still feel the lack long after.
Such a light body, such a quiet gait leaving behind the weight of the world,
I'll always think it was too early to lose your shine,
I guess the means that ends us means nothing,
I just hope it's the peace we all need, 
Because I could love and drown in your God damned smile lines, 
but I think I burnt up watching you rallying to stay alive,
and I guess that's fine.
It seems we all get sick, 
we all die in some no name hospital with the same colored walls,
and I guess that's fine,
but I want to swallow, I want to stomach, I want to live.
It's been a rough while and some days are worse than others,
there's no proper way to feel, no mirth, no levity, no amazing grace,
just a flame on a lake floating away, 
I can't let you lay, 
I want you to know, I'm learning patience against my will,
I want you to know, I'll get by, always barely scraping
with just a hunger, with just a heart apart,
it's a hell of a thing.