Accidental Slut

I’m a [bad word] in girlfriend’s clothing
Didn’t even know it til last night
I went to a birthday party
What I saw just wasn’t right
Six guys stood around the pool
All of whom had dated me
Some of them I’d come to know
In varying degrees of biblically
Wondering how this had happened
I just stood there paralyzed
Trying to recall how each thing fizzled
When suddenly I realized

I’m everyone’s type 'til they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
Be more careful of what I touch
Cause all the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
And I’ve become an accidental [bad word] 
My mom says there’s two types of girls
The ones men [bad word] and the ones they marry
It had never even occurred to me
I might be in the former category
Cause I really didn’t mean for this to happen
My intentions were pure with all six
But the title of [bad word] faced [bad word] ho bag
Doesn’t come with an asterisks
Don’t know exactly how this happened
Or when my judgment disappeared
But somewhere along the way [bad word] got weird

Now I’m everyone’s type 'til they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
It’s time to downshift my clutch
All the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
And I’ve become an accidental [bad word] 
I guess my cat’s out of the bag
So I might as well embrace it
Cause once Pandora’s left your box
There’s no way to erase it

And I’m everyone’s type 'til they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
My capacitor's out of flux
All the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
And I’ve become an accidental [bad word]