H o w t o n e v e r s t o p b

repeat to yourself that they’re not really gone 
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing 
a lie is the most effective way to deal with 
things you have no control over 

keep listening to the mixtapes they made you 
overanalyse every single word you hear 
“was this a sign that things were going wrong” 
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them 

stay up every single night staring at your phone 
either attempting to gather up the courage to 
turn these demons, these constant reminders of 
your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream 
or praying just for one second you could feel 
the warmth of equally returned love 

go out for coffee four times a week by yourself 
always bring your notebook, never stop writing 
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip 
watch them smile as you get in your car 

always talk down on yourself whenever possible 
my life is [bad word] because i deserve it, right? 
you must have done something real bad 
its nearly impossible for you to cry now 

avoid your friends for weeks even though 
they’re the only sense of consistency you have 
left in your life, if they really wanted 
to see you they’d come, but they won’t (who cares?) 

allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love 
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the 
world around you, don’t fight it 
become a secondary character in your own motion picture 

but most importantly drown every single one of 
your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to 
love the taste of it dripping down your throat 
find comfort in the warmth coming from your 
stomach, you’re drinking bottled love now 

you don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness 
you just needed to find a way to talk to it