Last night, I got so high

Last night, I got so high
 I think I had  with the cable guy
 Well I’ll admit, it would’ve been funny,
 But that pole smoker stole all my drug money
 I buy chronic every week or so
 But I do it when I’m really really high on blow
 I’m wide awake, but it’s hard to count
 I paid 1100 dollars for a quarter ounce!

 I like drugs but they don’t like me
 My brain cells seem to disagree
 I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me

 I was pounding some b*tch the other night
 Rolling on man, feeling alright
 When I was high she was hotter than heck
 But I woke up to a face that looked like Shrek
 I get high, that ain’t no lie
 But I can’t afford another friggin DUI
 Doctor says “stop, or you’ll be dying”
 I was gonna, but then you said you were buying

 I like drugs but the don’t like me
 It’s always better, when they’re free!
 I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me
 No they don’t!
 Don’t try and stop me, I can’t be saved, oh yeah
 If I die tonight at least my balls are shaved,
 Can you necro-feel-it!

 Aaahhhhh yeah... I like drugs
 I do it when I’m chillin’
 Aaaahhhhhh yeah... I like drugs
 I’ve even snorted penicillin
 If I can crush it - it goes up my nose
 If it’s smack I’ll shoot it in between my toes
 How old am I? Nobody knows!
 My surgeon is my dealer so my age never shows!
 Vicodin, Valium, Percocet and crack,
 Everybody scream Heavy Metal’s back!
 I like drugs but the don’t like me

 I like drugs but the don’t like me
 I’m driving right now to the next party
 I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me

 [Michael:] Oh [bad word] man, I’m getting pulled over again...
 Ah I better chug these beers, where’s those pills, [bad word] 
 [Cop:] Sir do you realize you were going 25mph on the freeway back there?
 [Michael:] Well what’s the f*cking speed limit? 15 mph?
 [Cop:] Sir do you have any Warrants?
 [Michael:] I got their first CD, but you can’t have it motherf*cker! Later!
 [Cop:] I got a 5150 on a 2112, I’m following a 1984 yellow Camaro. Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth... scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil!