Un Adieu a la Folie

i renounce you
and your love now worthless since cold
like the secret purpose
who made me serve
father, you
who want me to unfold in some other world

you
who always change your name
and call to arms in some iron game
you who refuse to step aside 
as we toast the blushing bride

i despise you,
brother, you who wished to kill all those dressed in rags
look who's hiding now so still behind red flags

it's you –
who fought to throw the blacks
off our sands and back
into the sea –
no, it ain't me
i protest you,
i detest you

i renounce you
and the beasts of prey you admire
and i defy you
and all traitors alike
and i hereby betray yyyyyyyyou
who always crack up under fire
and make this flame breathe stone

i deny you,
mother, you who won't seek the memory within
yet who swore not to rise by sin
now there's blood
dripping from your teeth
unto my skin beneath,
into this hand of mine

you
who always betray time
with false urgencies

you,
abandoned by your gods and laws
and by your church with its borrowed myths
now you try to hang on to this and beg for more in vain,
it won't feel the same you,
so talented,
so gifted

yet you see it as 
a
curse
or
worse
as a sentence that cannot be lifted

i reject you,
for i have failed you
my teachers
who somehow taught me to listen and to shout
teachers, i need you more than anyone
more than ever now
i beg you
not 
to 
judge 
me